narrative event

The Narrative Paragraph

Welcome to week two. Despite my attempts to tell everyone what withdraw means (abmelden), it seems I did not do a good enough job. This has been a record semester for calls of help because people withdrew without meaning to. Well no wonder some of you did not know what it means, even the president of my country doesn't, as in withdraw the troops from Iraq or better yet withdraw from the presidency (?).
Now that that problem is solved, if any others come up, just mail me and I will do my best to help out. There are still two students, for example, whose e-mail addresses do not work. So if you have not gotten any texts to correct by now, it is most likely that your e-mail address if wrong. Just write me.

This week we are going to continue with a less formal style of writing than pure academic writing. This means that "I" and "you" can still be used if the situation calls for it. The narrative, or story, is a common genre that many people use when talking or writing. In writing narratives there are several characteristics to be considered. The first is the order of the sentences. In narratives the supporting ideas are usually ordered according to time, which we call chronological order. Although narration usually refers to the telling of a story, the term is also used here to describe the relating of an experience. Ordering your sentences and ideas chronologically is not hard, as you know. However, deciding what to include and what to omit-in other words, making your paragraph unified-can be difficult. And what is perhaps more difficult is having a controlling idea for your paragraph. Imagine that you lived in New Orleans and you received a letter from a friend who is very curious about the Mardi Gras celebration. Your narration might begin like this:

For many, Mardi Gras day begins on St. Charles Avenue with the Rex Parade. By nine o'clock, the avenue is lined with people dressed in all kinds of costumes. At around ten o'clock, the parade begins. First there is the sound of sirens. The police on motorcycles always lead the parade to clear the street. Then a band usually marches by. At this time the people start clapping and swaying to the music. Next come the masked men on horseback. Finally, the first float arrives carrying men in costumes and masks. Immediately, everyone rushes toward the float. They wave their hands and yell, "Throw me something, Mister!" The men generally throw beads and coins at the crowd. Then the float passes, but soon another one comes and the people do the same thing over again. After about an hour, the parade passes by and the first part of Mardi Gras day ends.

The writer has narrowed the topic to the Rex Parade. The sentences are arranged in chronological order. The paragraph is, then, coherent (follows logically). The paragraph is also unified; all of the sentences discuss what the people do during this parade. But is the author's attitude about the event clear? Not really. The friend would have a difficult time determining the author's attitude about this topic. Of course, the writer does not have to tell what he feels about this experience, but a controlling idea (stating your attitude about the topic) would help the reader get a clearer image of what that experience is like. The paragraph can be improved by revising it to have a strong controlling idea:

When people here talk of Mardi Gras, they use the expression "Mardi Gras Madness." This delightful madness begins for many on St. Charles Avenue with the Rex Parade. By nine o'clock, the avenue is lined with people of all ages in colourful costumes, from cavemen to Supermen. They stroll among the crowd and chat with friends and strangers alike. Some dance and some drink. At around ten o'clock, the excitement mounts as the parade begins. First there is the welcome sound of sirens. The police on motorcycles always lead the parade to make a path though the jubilant crowd. Then a band usually marches by, playing a popular tune such as the theme from Star Wars. At this time people start clapping and dancing to the music. Next come the masked men on horseback. They wave and the crowd waves back. Sometimes a girl goes up and kisses one of the riders! Finally, someone usually shouts, "There it is!" It is the first float carrying men in costumes and masks. Immediately, everyone rushes toward the float. They wave their hands and yell, "Throw me something, Mister!" The men throw beads and souvenir coins to the excited crowd. Usually, they catch the coins, but sometimes one hits the ground. Then several people rush to retrieve it, pushing and shoving if necessary. Then the float passes, but soon another one comes and the madness continues in the same way. After about an hour, the parade passes by and the first part of Mardi Gras day ends.

By adding a topic sentence with a strong controlling idea (madness), the writer clearly establishes his attitude about the parade. In addition, the writer has changed some of the sentences to add some details to make sure that the details "prove" that Mardi Gras really is "delightful madness."

Each of you have taken part in an event that you could describe. Your job now is to retell it with a strong controlling idea so as to give your reader a clear picture of what you saw or experienced. You can take any event you like: a special family gathering, ceremonies such as a wedding, a typical class at university, or just a typical day for you. About the length of the second Mardi Gras paragraph above should be sufficient. Have fun!

Then as you read the text your peer has sent you, try to focus on whether they have included a clear topic sentence stating not only the topic but also a strong controlling idea and whether they have added enough detail to prove their attitude toward the topic to convince you.